Flock - Sunday Scribblings

"Birds of a feather, flock together."

My mother would say these words and then shake her head in disapproval. As a young girl, I just didn't get it. Of course geese flock with other geese, and black birds flock with other black birds, the only mixed flock I had ever seen was the finches. And those little singing birds seemed sweet and fun. One time I watched a finch flying around a fir tree. The finch flying pattern looks like an amusement ride. And I swear that the little bird was yelling Woo! Woo! as it flew four times around the tree.

But, my mother's interpretation of this saying always eluded me until I started to watch people. And instead of flocks I would characterize people in terms of herds. Have you ever gone to a mall just to people watch? Did you notice that there is a certain pace everyone walks, a certain flow to the people as they march around the mall?

And the noise. It reminds me of times I have watched the herds of cows and horses. We are not a quiet species.

But there is another layer to this saying, a more disdainful one. And yes, I had to be almost forty before I really understood what she was saying. You are stained by the people who are associated with you. I noticed that I liked smart, funny people with sharp wits. I like that kind of person as long as their hide is as strong as their tongues.

And actually this can go even further. One of the problems with convicts is that when they finish their debt to society, they eventually go back to associating with other criminals. It leads them back to the same consequences as before. It is probably why they are not allowed to associate with other convicts or criminals during probation.

Now I want to get off the track a little. The military wear uniforms so that they can meld individuals into a cohesive group. And boot camp is for that same purpose. Even after being out of the military since 1994, I still feel a camaraderie with others who have had the same experiences. "Flock together?"

To those who have died in the service of our country, I give my condolences to the families. Memorial day is not for flocking to the car sales or amusements, but it is for remembering those soldiers, sailors, and airmen who died defending our country. 

 See more writings for Sunday Scribblings.

Dark Side of the Moon - One stop poetry Wednesday

Dark Moon, Bright Spray

My mind shudders
darkened moon peeks
through the windows

sleep eludes
toss and turn
the covers pulled
over my head

dark moon lure sleep
sprinkle my hair
with bright sprays of moonlight


Find other poets here at onestoppoetry.

Surrender - Sunday Scribblings

I have learned about surrender in various stages of my life. As a child and teenager, I had to surrender for a short time. My white flags were conciliatory words to my parents and my sisters. But, deep in my heart I would tell myself that "this too will pass" and that "I would make them regret it."

It wasn't until I had my first crisis with Wegener's Granulomatosis, a vasculitis disease, that I learned that surrender means how graceful you are in defeat. I was able to handle the first five weeks of the hospital treatment that finally saved my life, I was able to handle the next weeks after I had to go to the same hospital for treatment, but, I was unable to handle the grind of the disease when it looked like it would drag on for months, years, and the rest of my life.

Mind you, I was taking some very powerful drugs to keep my immune system suppressed. Mind you, I was tired most of the time because my kidneys were not working well. Mind you I was hallucinating.

So I rebelled. It is only natural. My motto for my entire life is "never give up, and never give in." I don't surrender. I just find another way to work around the problem. Unfortunately, there are no other ways to control the disease except through prednisone and chemo-therapy.

I finally surrendered to my fate when I was given the choice. I could live with limitations that included some powerful drugs. By the way, I hate drugs and I have always hated drugs. Or I could die.

I live. I take my meds. I try to keep my health up. I swallow those pills and I listen to my husband... or try to. I still have the motto that helps me through each day. I have learned not to snarl when someone tells me that I "don't look sick."

And, I have discovered that I have the determination and ability to write my thoughts and fiction. It has been a gift that has helped me through even the darkest days.

See more writings for Sunday Scribblings.

Working on Running to the Sun - Conjure Man #2

So this is the first time besides work-related activities that I have imposed a deadline on my writings. Okay I do Nanowrimo, so I should say other than Nanowrimo. I hate deadlines. The first thing I do is try to procrastinate. However, I must finish this part of the trilogy by June 2011.

I will do it. I am determined. I am now writing on the blog instead of writing the story.

Here is an excerpt of the next installment:

Luce hunted Rosa through the wild night. He could scent her as he sniffed the wind. He could see her steps glow by the burning cabin of his enemy. It was his time to find and search. It was his time to hunt.

He found a small path that led up into the darkness. He knew she had walked that path, but not soon enough, not fast enough to get away from him. It was good to feel absolute power over one person. Soon he would have absolute power over all.

He wanted to kill Rosa. He felt the demons give him power to track this seed-bearer, a girl really. He wanted her. What he wanted more was power. The demons whispered in his ear that this girl could add more to his power. He held one seed-bearer, her tiny form huddled in his small trailer. Luce could feel the heart beat of both his victim and his prey.

He had left Maureen to watch his victim, Marie. Someone needed to watch her after the escape attempt. He marveled at how like a rat the child had become. She would have chewed off her hand to free herself. He didn't understand such determination. He would have to kill her soon, but not until he had finished this. Power and money glittered brightly in his eyes. His heart felt like solid gold.

Luce had sent Allen, the bloodhound, after Tessa and Taylor. With Tessa, Marie, and Rosa, he would rule the world. For now, he needed to be alert. He heard the cries of the cougar. Someone else was hunting. He felt a kinship with the big cat. A small cloud covered the moon. Suddenly, the lapping fire couldn’t lighten his path. He stumbled on a rock. He kicked a rock and swore.

The first installment The Wooden Seed: Conjure Man #1 is on Amazon Kindle and Smashwords.

The Wooden Seed is now available

So I finished the first part of Conjure Man: The Wooden Seed. It is now available as an ebook on Amazon Kindle and Smashwords.

Description:

In the hollow of a tree, Tessa finds a colorful round wooden object that turns black if anyone but her touches it. Unbeknownst to her it takes her on a journey that has seeds in her past and roots into the future. This ebook is part 1 of the Conjure Man trilogy.

Deadline:  Part 2 will be ready by the middle of June 2011.

The genre for this newest ebook is contemporary fantasy, mythology, and horror. Hope you enjoy it. 

The Wooden Seed - Conjure Man

So I am sitting at Starbucks sipping a vanilla latte cause my water is off at the apartment. I took the time yesterday (also water was off) and today to work on the first 20,000 words of the Conjure man. I will be putting it up in a few days, since I have been working on the cover and preparing the manuscript.

One thing I found out, that I knew before my illness, that when I print out the document and read it, that is when I find all my mistakes and plot holes. So Ole' this story is the best that I can do. Please forgive missing prepositions. I find that I see and read them, but they are not always there.

At this time, money is tight and is going to my meds, doctors, and essentials for the hubby's work. Thankfully my hubby is gainfully employed although I am not. SO you think writing is gainful employment?

You make me giggle. And if you saw me, a 5'8" prednisone hazed woman, you wouldn't think that I could giggle. Anyway, I am enjoying this fun time with my digital stuff.

Anyone who is listening - have a great day.

Indie Author

Okay so I decided to try out the Indie Author phenomenon. My reason is here at RedGage. Basically, I have an auto-immune disease and I don't have the time or energy to seduce an agent so that I can get into traditional publishing. Plus Amazon Kindle has proven that the barrier between print and digital books have been broken. In the NYT this headline "E-Books Top Hardcovers at Amazon" says it all.

I am not sure if I will make any money at all as an Indie author. However, I have been writing for years in several genres: technical writing, poetry, fiction, and non-fiction. I was published a few times in a few literary journals before I became ill with Wegener's Granulomatosis. I was punching all the tickets so that I could be published in one of those great traditional houses.

Chemo and prednisone became an insurmountable barrier and this dream died. However, I have to thank my husband, and other people like JA Konrath, JR Rain, and Piers Anthony for surging towards this new digital age. I hope at least to get my writings out there.

Wish me luck.

You can find me on Smashwords and Amazon Kindle.